FORGIVE

Forgive?

“You have to forgive him”.

I heard this line two major times in my life. First time I heard this line was when I finally opened up to someone about my rape-like encounter that tainted my image of men for a larger chunk of my life. I was around 8 years old when this happened and the memory still lingers till date.

The second time I heard this was when I broke up with my ex. He had cheated on me and to make it worse, I found out a day to my 18th birthday. Birthday ruined, ikr. It was one of the worst periods of my life, this was someone I had given almost all my love to, only to find out that, I wasted my time doing that. The level of disrespect that came with him made me say goodbye to “us”.

I lived with so much bitterness in my heart, yet I was the one called, “happy child”, always smiling and always giving so much positivity. Lol, I guess my mom was right to say I’m a pretender but if only she knew I was just trying to be strong for myself and myself(stingy me, I know😅)

They say when you forgive someone, you are doing more good to yourself than to the other party but how is it possible to forgive someone that tampered with your childhood? More so, how can you forgive someone that you opened up to about your tainted past and all he could do was grab your soul and soil it?

Lol, if you ask me, I’ll say this world asks too much of us, dhur💁🏽‍♀️even the Bible does. Like how can you actually open your mouth and tell me, after all I had been through, to forgive him? Or him(s)😂

This ain’t the movies bruv, this is real life!

Forgive

Lol, please don’t mind all my karamo because the truth is, at the end of the day, I did forgive. I had to. It took me a while and more, it took a hunger for peace, it took series of reminding myself that “this life is not hard”, it took nights of crying and above all, it took so much, “letting go and Let God” but I did. I had to forgive them, for myself. I had to be selfish with my peace, I needed to free them from my hate, for myself.

There’s this peace that comes with forgiveness, trust me, you wouldn’t want to trade that for anything.

Why do you think we enjoy most of the privileges we enjoy even with our sinful nature? It’s because God had forgiven us long before we even mess up and why do you think God isn’t bitter? Dhur💁🏽‍♀️Because He has forgiven! You’re probably thinking, 'God isn’t a person', 'He can’t feel these things like we do', blah blah blah.

Newsflash! God feels. He feels. He gets hurt too! We hurt God too but He is merciful, He forgives.

It’s funny how we hurt God too many times and He always forgives us, yet we find it hard to forgive those that have offended us and still we open our mouths to say, “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us”. Aren’t we just hypocrites?

Hey there, I know it’s hard to let go, with all of the things they’ve done, with all that has happened, the hurt he caused, the pain she brought to your fragile heart, the feeling of betrayal that came with her and no, I’m not going to say you should forgive them because it’s clichè. Scratch that! The truth is you need to forgive them. Lol.

You owe it to yourself to let them go.

And I know it hurts, sooo bad I must say, but it’s for the greater good. Do it for yourself and I don’t give two shits if it’s called being selfish, Do it.

Let them go.

A subtle reminder,

I LOVE YOU ❤️